The Top 10 Tips I learned in my 30’s

1 – Take responsibility for your own happiness.

Don’t expect other people to look out for your interests and make you happy. You are responsible for building a life you love so fill it full of doing things you enjoy, in a job you don’t just have to tolerate, and with people you actually want to spend time with – not those you feel obliged to spend time with. Nobody else knows exactly what you like and what will make you happy so take control and make it happen yourself. If you are blaming others for your current situation, you are taking zero responsibility for where you are in life. It’s easy to blame the economy, or your company, or your parents, or how you were raised … to say “if it wasn’t for this or that things would be better!!”. Things that you can’t manage and probably won’t change. If you’re doing this you’re avoiding taking responsibility for the situation and the life you have created. The only power you have is your response to the situation. You can play victim and keep finding the excuses … or you can start finding solutions!

2 – If you don’t have goals and a plan you are at the discretion of others.

Set your own plan, don’t wait for others to choose your life for you. If you have no plan or real direction in your life those that know where they want to be going will soon start to pull you into their journey … or dare I  say “use you” to get to where they need to go. That’s not their fault, you haven’t specified your own destination and these people can’t clearly see your plan as you don’t have one so you have to be prepared to be at the mercy of others making decisions for you … what a horrible way to live!

3 – You are what you feed your mind

Be careful what you focus on and what you watch / read. The more you focus on negative things the worse you will feel and the more negative things you will find. Start expecting good things and looking for the good around you and will start to find it. If you watch the news you are watching the opposite of a highlights reel of the full world – you’re seeing all the bad things out there condensed into 30 minutes. That’s not a true reflection of the world! Watch the things that uplift you, listen to music that makes you feel happy and spend time doing things that make you smile.

4 – If you want something, ask for it!!

It’s simple, rather than letting yourself get frustrated inside you may as well ask the question. Whether it is about a job promotion, change of role or change in your personal life or something you would really like. Ask the question, what is the worst that can happen? It sure beats bottling it up and torturing yourself while assuming the worst outcome – who knows what will happen!! Expect the best outcome and ask.

5 – Don’t let your misconceptions of what others think hold you back

There are many times where you may assume someone doesn’t like you, or you may assume that people are thinking something about you. You have no way to know 100% for sure so why would you pick the worst case scenario. Start imagining the best case scenario, maybe people think you’re funny. Maybe people think what you’re wearing is smart. If you start thinking of the best possible outcome and that people can really see the best in you then I can promise you that you will feel better about yourself … and at the end of the day, does it really matter what they think anyway? So why not expect them to think positive thoughts about you.

Blame

6 – Treat yourself well and forgive yourself

Other people might not treat you well and you can’t control that but you can set your own standards on how you treat yourself. Reward yourself when you do well and celebrate all your successes. Make sure you appreciate all your good qualities instead of giving yourself a hard time for small medial mistakes. Times are hard enough without beating yourself up, instead learn from it. Nobody is perfect, despite what they may claim or how you may view them, so allow yourself to make mistakes. Everyone makes them so instead of dwelling on mistakes and feeling sorry for yourself why don’t you learn from them and move on quickly.

7 – Stop procrastinating and putting stuff off.

A lot of time you will have a large task in front of you but rather than tackle it head on you’ll find some way to delay the task (be it watching TV, doing another less important but easier task or even looking at social media on your phone for the hundredth time). If you do something first time you’ll be giving yourself a head start and be able to accomplish so much more … and you’ll feel so much better for it. Think how much better you would feel if you just got up and completed the task. Get it off your To Do List and on to the Done List! Try it, I can promise you it works. This also helps build confidence.

8 – Stop complaining and start appreciating

If you’re busy complaining about your job, your house, your parents, your car … what you are doing is showing a lack of gratitude for what you DO have. Complaining also breeds complaining. The more you complain, the more you will find to complain about. Instead of complaining why not start pointing out the good things about a certain situation or what you have. Start finding the good in each thing, whether it be your job, a family member, a certain situation, your house … there is always something good to find, sometimes you just have to look harder. This will not only make you more tolerable to be around, you’ll start to feel happier at the same time. You’ll start to become a good finder instead of a whinger.

9 – Never, never settle!

The more you settle for things the more you are programming your subconscious to think that you are not worth the best of things. An example, you see 2 shirts, one is really nice and you would feel smart wearing it. The other is 20% cheaper, looks ok and would do the job. You buy option 2. When you wear it you know it wasn’t as nice as the other one. Subconsciously your mind knows you didn’t really want it and only bought it because it was cheaper. You don’t feel half as smart wearing it as if and you end up wearing it less and less. The more you do this the more you are telling your subconscious that you are not worth the more expensive option. This drains confidence and it drains self-worth. I am not saying always take the more expensive route every time, most people couldn’t afford that … but sometimes it’s worth not buying anything at all than buying something you don’t really want. If you can’t afford the more expensive option why not wait? Save up if you have to and then once you can afford it buy the one you really want. You need to programme your mind that you deserve the best, that you ARE worth it. Some people are born and raised to treat themselves extremely well, others are raised to put others first and treat themselves as a lower class citizen. You can fix it.

10 – You’re only here once, enjoy it!

You’re only here once, you won’t live forever, so you should be enjoying your time while you’re here. If you’re not having fun and enjoying your daily life you really have to ask the question, why! You created the life you live through a succession of choices, if you dont like what you have created start creating something different. Make choices that create a life you enjoy, where having fun is a priority. Every day, even just at one point of the day, you should be planning to do something you enjoy. There’s no excuse not to! If you’re struggling with this one the first thing you should do is take yourself less seriously, go do something silly that gets you out your comfort zone and realise that world doesn’t come to an end when you do it!

Thanks for reading. If you have any feedback, other tips to add that you’ve learned yourself or comments I’d love to hear them.

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